How to Talk to a Baby Who Can’t… Talk

I was on the bus the other day, sitting next to a mother with her 10 month old daughter on her lap. All of a sudden the little girl started fidgeting and getting worked up. Her mother responded by making a gesture with her hands, opening and closing her fingers and saying to her daughter “milk?” The little girl wriggled with excitement and attached herself to her mother, who barely had time to unhook her nursing bra. Wow, baby sign language is pretty amazing.

 

Brief History

In the 1980s, two psychologists specialising in childhood development, Linda Acredolo and Susan Goodwyn, observed that babies who were unable to speak used “imitation” signs to designate objects. For example, they might sniff to say “flower”, or flap their arms to say “bird”. As a result of their observations, they came up with a system of signs based on American Sign Language, but using only basic words and no grammar. This simple language has allowed parents and babies to understand one another, and to be much, much less frustrated!

 

When Can I Start?

At the age of 5 or 6 months, when your baby begins to develop an attention span and to imitate his or her surroundings, you can begin to communicate with signs. At this stage, your baby will learn to understand the signs, without necessarily being able to respond with a sign of his or her own. Between the ages of 9 to 14 months, your baby’s motor skills will be sufficiently developed to allow him or her to reply.

 

Why Sign?

• To allow your baby to be understood by the people around him or her, by some means other than crying
• To stimulate your baby’s oral development, as signing will help to develop language skills in general
• To help you as a parent to understand your baby’s first spoken words
• To develop your baby’s motor skills, and intellectual and emotional development. It’s also good for your little one’s self esteem, as your baby will be validated for expressing him or herself!

 

A Few Basic Signs:

“Milk”

“Bath”

 

“More”

 

“I Love you”

Original post by Léa J. on the Boutique Bummis blog. Translated and adapted  by Maeghan B.

musings on guilt and joy by betsy

On our retail store Facebook page, we have been having tons of discussions these days about breastfeeding and formula feeding! And it has brought up a lot of emotions from moms – both negative and positive. It makes me think about how even though we give lip service to the idea that a mom should not feel guilty about the choices she makes – do we really give moms the benefit of the doubt enough? Do we realize how complex the issues are sometimes around the choices women make? Sometimes a mom who doesn’t breastfeed is choosing not to because it would make her angry and resentful and bitter – for whatever reason. And she is choosing to do what she needs to do in order to be a good parent.

 

 

When my first baby was 15 months old, I became pregnant with the second. I was still nursing and didn’t really want to stop – but didn’t know anything about anything…. So I went to see a La Leche League leader who was tandem nursing her first 2 babies. After an hour with her I decided firmly NOT to tandem nurse unless I found it to be a divinely pleasant experience. She kept saying how important it was to do it for her children, and even though she didn’t enjoy it she did it anyway because it was good for them. At that point I realized that what’s good for me is good for my babies, and if I force myself to do anything I am uncomfortable with then it is an obligation and not a joy and they will GET that, even if I never allow them to see me complain – they will know that I am unhappy. And unhappy moms make for unhappy babies and children and grown-ups, and so the whole circus continues for generations. And it is especially loaded BECAUSE we are women and our bodies and boundaries may have already been compromised at some point in our lives, and thus the issue becomes a feminist and political one as well.

 

From that point on, a metaphor that I have gone back to over and over in my mind as a parent is the image of being on a plane with your child when all of a sudden the pressure drops and you need oxygen. The masks drop in front of you, and your instinct as a parent is to put that mask on your child FIRST. But in fact, you must put it on yourself first – because if you are unconscious you can’t help your child and then maybe neither of you will survive! So save yourself first. In applying this to parenting, I think it is REALLY important that we take care of mothers, and that mothers feel empowered – because if they are strong and joyful, they will pass that on to their children. I believe strongly that in this way you can actually interfere with if not break the cycles of abuse and exploitation and disempowerment that make people so cruel and unconscious! And honestly, I KNOW from experience (mine and many others) that un-interfered with birth and breastfeeding and the whole entire path of intuitive parenting can be such empowering and joyful experiences that they can help us heal our lives and families.

 

So I stopped nursing my first baby when my breasts became really sensitive during my pregnancy and it felt bad to have him nursing – and I didn’t tandem nurse after all. I re-started with my second son and nursed him until I was pregnant with my next and it started to bother me. Then later when I had my third baby I nursed him until he was 3 years old – not all day long – but in the morning, at naptime, to go to sleep, etc. I was working hard at starting up the business and gone sometimes, and the connection of breastfeeding was important to both of us. But when I stopped, it was because I simply did not like the sensation of it anymore – I felt like a mother cat getting up, shaking off her kittens and walking away. My husband was sad for my son – he said “But Bets, he’s so young!” which in retrospect we both find funny! But I knew that if I continued I would resent doing it, and that feeling would be transmitted to my son and become part of his emotional DNA and I didn’t want that. I prefer that he feel guilty about all the trouble he caused us as a teenager instead…. But hey - THAT’S another story

Edible Ideas for Breastfeeding Moms

In spite of what we sometimes hear, there are not really any blacklisted foods that must be avoided by breastfeeding moms, except for substances like caffeine, alcohol and tobacco. The taste of your breastmilk can change depending on the foods that you’re eating, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to the foods that you’re consuming, and your baby’s interest in breastfeeding. Some babies don’t take kindly to spicy foods, dishes with lots of garlic or onion, or other foods with “strong” flavours. Trial and error is your best bet in terms of determining which foods you and your baby will find most satisfying.

The best-bet foods for breastfeeding moms are those that contain calcium, iron and fiber: whole grains, fruit, peas, beans and nuts. Quinoa is a great option as it contains iron, magnesium, phosphorus, fiber and vitamins B1, B2 and B6!

 

Quick and tasty chickpea & quinoa salad, courtesy of fussfree cooking blog

 

It’s best not to stress too much about your breastfeeding diet, you can eat pretty much anything in moderation. But to keep up your strength, you can try to incorporate good fats, particularly unsaturated fats (avocados and olive oil, for example), which will help with your baby’s neurological development. And of course, don’t forget to drink plenty of liquids! Water and herbal teas are great choices, whereas coffee and black tea contain caffeine, which is not great for baby.

 

Milk Production

Mothers sometimes worry about milk production, thinking that baby is not getting enough milk, or always seems hungry and is wanting to breastfeed too often. If you’re geniunely concerned about milk production, it’s best to talk to a lactation consultant. If you’re happy with your breastfeeding routine, but are just interested in upping the ante a little, here are some milk-boosting edible ideas:

• fenugreek or blessed thistle (in capsule form)
• fennel, galega officinalis and anise (in tea form)
• raspberries
• almonds
• malt (you can try alcohol-free beer to stimulate milk production, or eat malt in cereal form)

Mint, sage and parsley might prohibit milk production if consumed in large quantities, but are generally without consequence if used in moderation to garnish a delicious dish.

Original post by Léa J. Translated and adapted by Maeghan B.